Your Reaction is Your Responsibility

What to do when your bile rises in response to a story

This morning I received a rather long, clearly heartfelt, but misplaced response to a piece- no, just the title of a piece- that I wrote on our bodies. Given that this is one hell of an emotional topic for most of us, as it has most clearly been for me, I can understand the response. I’m not without compassion.

The title of the article is The Body You Have is the Body You Deserve. The article goes on to discuss a number of things, but nowhere in the body of the article NOR in the title do I say or imply that if you’re fat or disabled or anything else, it’s all your fault. In fact, the article says just the opposite.

But that wasn’t how this one reader saw it, and that’s the point of this article.

As someone who has been both obese and so thin I nearly died from eating disorders, I have had decades upon decades of direct experience with extreme body dysmorphia. It might be fair to state I know what the fuck I am talking about when it comes to body image issues. Suffice it to say those paths have allowed me to develop tremendous empathy for anyone else who does.

However, I also know that the body I had at any point along my life path was the body that I needed to have at that moment, no matter how uneasy I might have been with its boundaries. The body is an IT, not me. That lesson has taken me years. Not only that, the body has been a superb teacher, but it doesn’t and never has defined my value. It reflects the lessons I need to learn, the patience I need to develop, and offers me a chance to have a sense of humor about our humanity. Without the body, we don’t learn these things.

Here is an excerpt from my article:

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