Why I Chose Estrangement

I chose me.

My grandmother — on her deathbed — said, “I’m a liar!”

She said it to my sister before she died, and she was right.

She was a liar.

She was a passive-aggressive, manipulative trouble-maker. Never happy unless someone else was miserable.

She married on the rebound for convenience and lived to regret it. Back in her day, you couldn’t just get divorced. It wasn’t done. You got married young, and you got what you settled for — no returns.

Even though I feel for her lost love and the times she lived in, her mistake didn’t just affect her. Rivers of toxic dysfunction run through my family.

When I was 24, I woke up beside another guy I was dating out of self-hatred and desperation.

At that moment between slumber and consciousness, I had a vision that changed everything.

I saw my life laid out before me and it led straight to bitterness and regret. If I continued to sell myself out, I knew I’d die a bitter old lady just like her.

So I made a choice.

I never wanted to sacrifice myself for anyone ever again. That day I promised myself I’d find a better way. It took a long time and a lot of hard work but eventually, I did it.

Related posts:

For a long time I have been fascinated by the prospect of a Rinsta and Finsta. From the very first time I heard about a Finsta I was confused as to what it was, or why it even exists in the first…

It was one of those merry desi parties in America, where a dozen or so families had gathered at a mutual friend’s. It might have been a birthday or a house warming or a pot luck or baby shower or…

Darah rendah tidak semata-mata karena kurang nutrisi, sehingga harus makan makanan berdaging.